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<title>my Imoortal Alex, the cockroach who just won’t fucking die by Xx_rider_of_the_storm_xX (regret_reading_you_will)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26823694">my Imoortal Alex, the cockroach who just won’t fucking die</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/regret_reading_you_will/pseuds/Xx_rider_of_the_storm_xX'>Xx_rider_of_the_storm_xX (regret_reading_you_will)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crack, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Parody, Romance, Sex, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26823694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/regret_reading_you_will/pseuds/Xx_rider_of_the_storm_xX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No fandom would be complete without one. Enjoy and suffer, at your own risk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Everyone/Original Character(s), Yassen Gregorovich/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p>a/n: hiii so liek basicaly, all of dem are super hot and i am weak so ummmmmm, yeee enjoy uwu</p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was a sunny day and the sky was super blue. The clouds looked like creamy white marshmallow cotton candy cocaine.</p><p> </p><p>"OMG, my hat flew away!!!" I yelled when the wind blew my custom ordered black jean limited edition red silk embroidered Akatsuki hat up (im a naruto villian fan i dare u2 FITE ME they are sooo hot and good boys okay??!?!?) Right off my head. I was so surprised that it happened, like, my petite anime-irl jaw dropped right open. </p><p> </p><p>You might not believe it, but I like, <em> actually </em> look like a kawaii anime girl, people * <em> coughcough btw marly i Know ur reading this cough cough </em>* comment on it ALL THE TIME bitch, I knowww now stop mentioning my perfect face u just jelly uwu</p><p> </p><p>but yeah. As i turned my slim, pale face up towards the sky, a shiny look of depression filled my somber amethyst orbs. It matched right with my silver streaked raven tresses and neon black eyeliner, and I felt like I was a sad gurl. Sighing, I explained to the readers, "My special most fav hat in. The. World. just got blown away in the sudden wind and now it's stuck on top of a flagpole." How ridiculous is that? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>AN: Yeahh….so basically, i like talk to imaginary readers during the day, cuz u never knw when u might rly be in a story, i’m not being “quirky” I just believe in the fictional multiverse theory ok??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Hmph! I stomped my forest green adidas yeezys from China. I couldn't believe it. </p><p> </p><p>Anyways, I can't believe I forgot to say! My name is Rhiannon Amber-Zinnia Vernnalce, I'm 17 years old and a Virgo in spirit, even tho im <em> technikally </em> a Capricorn,but I go by Amber cuz my first name is apparently like, "too unique" for the dumb preppy bimbos to pronounce. If ur my friend's u can also call me Ravencrow/Raven bcuz of my silky midnight hair. Also ravencrow is also my old warrior cat name, she used to be called ravenpaw but then her bff twin crowpaw died saving her so she asked for her warrior name to be both :(((</p><p><strong>p.s</strong>.: So apparently when I jump, my hair flys up + flaps in the air like a crow, which is why they call me Raven 😍</p><p> </p><p>So, how do I get this hat down? But unlike the other girls who would just cry (i hate crying ppl theyre so weaaak), I used to take karate and kungfu so i knew how to climb poles. also my Mom was a stripper so i learned how to climb poles rly young. </p><p> </p><p>Haiiyaaa!!!! I took off my shoes and put them on the ground. I then took off my baby shit-colored lamb leather jacket and put it to the side so I didn't get it dirty from climbing up the flagpole. Ofc i didn't have a problem with getting my legs up since I was wearing grey tie-dyed sweatpants with pockets instead of dem useless skinnyjeans, because I understood that they were stupid and useless without pockets.</p><p> </p><p>Barely straining my lithe thighs and without breaking a sweat at all I climbed to the very top of the flagpole and got my hat back. Just as I grabbed it, suddenly a boy flew at me!</p><p> </p><p>If I was someone else, I would've been like, so surprised, and screamed "AAAAHHHHHH!!!! and fallen off but since I worked out a lot and had muscles from doing karate I managed to catch him in one arm. </p><p> </p><p>He had bleached blonde-hair with black highlights, with plush red lips and gorgeous cheekbones that just screamed summer boy toy, like fr this boi got it mannn. His ass was Sinfully covered with tight bleached denims and his toned 8-pack chest was still smooth under his silky colared shirt, with it’s buttons open at the top (i’m NOT a perv u guys, his chest was just in my face when I rescued him).</p><p> </p><p>“Hi alex.” I said.</p><p> </p><p>“wtf how do u know my name!!” He whispred back huskily. “We have 2 be quiet cuz i’m here in secret sneaking into a window”</p><p> </p><p>“omgs rly?” He nodded his head at me, his blonde hair floating wispily in the air over his soulfully ocean blue eyeballs. A girl could drown in those orbs, hyponotized for DAYS. (get it? days/daze? and hypnotizing lolol). </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go in 2gether then” I replied at him. We skrted down the pole and then i yeeted him into de window 1st, and then he caught me with his now sleeveless arms since he lost the shirt when I threw him off the pole. </p><p> </p><p>When he caught me and we’re inside his heart was beating so hard, it was obvious the he had a crush xDDD</p><p> </p><p>But then, as his tight muscled biceps wrapped around my thin shoulders, i could feel MY heart beating jsut as fast!!</p><p> </p><p>Breathily, he gasped, “u r so hot <b>🔥🔥🔥</b>”.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too”, i Breathed. “Do u wanna do it w me”</p><p> </p><p>Then we took off our clothes and had SEX on the table and the filing cabniets, he put his bare belly button near my belly button. </p><p> </p><p>But then I had a great idea. “How bout we do this on the FLAGPOLE”!!</p><p> </p><p>“Ur a GENUIS” he yelled back. So we climped out the window and jumped back on the flag[ole and had flagpole SEX. In PUBLIC. </p><p> </p><p>“Omg dO u tHiNk wE cAn be in The Mile high Club now babe?” I panted at him.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, I saw Alan Blunthead (ewwww) peeking at us from the window! That disgusting old perv! I could feel myself blushing even more.</p><p> </p><p>“Alex he’s watching us!” I cried out. “Oh no oh no oh nonononono”he cried back to me. </p><p> </p><p>“WHAT R U KIDDOS DOING ON THAT FLAG” the old man yelled at us. “GET DOWN BEFORE WE SHOOT FOR DISRESPECTING THE COUNTRY”</p><p> </p><p>We were so screwed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p>i hope u guyz like it!! did u expect alex and her 2 do it soooo quickly <span class="emoji">👀👀👀👀👀 also NO HATE OKAY THIS IS A LOVING PLACE not even for alan<br/></span></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p>hiii guyz + gurlz guess whos back with another chapta!!</p><p>Also i realized that better grammar would make this git gooder, so from now on dis is now EDITED xD</p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Blunty was waving a 12 gauge Winchester M1897 trench shotgun at us thru the window. His gray face was turning red from resisting the urge to shoot his gun all over us. “Ahhhh! Imma shoot y’alls bare ass if ya aint down in 5!”</p><p> </p><p>“4!!”</p><p> </p><p>“3!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Alex and I quickly slid our nekkid bodies over each other and down the flagpole, careful to not let our private parts get near each other. His shining bronze pecs slicked with sweat slipped easily on the metal pole. “I’m bouta fall!” Alex exclaimed in surprise. Because I’m the stronger and older one, I wrapped my smooth, long arms around his body, holding his cute heart shaped face and plump surfer lips near my chest, while my long and supple calves wrapped around the cool flagpole, carefully sliding the two of us down to safety.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Alex started blushing suuuper hard. OMG, was I suffocating him??</p><p> </p><p>“You...have boobs”, he muttered shyly under his breath, trying to turn his face away but stuck between my left boobie and right boobie. (poor guy xD) His stormey gaze was now a maelstrom of deep emotions, swirling blue trapped within the shining orbs of cobalt, like a demented snowglobe of horror.</p><p> </p><p>“2!!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Panicking, I jsut dropped Alex down and jumped the rest of the way down, but we were too high up off the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Oh no! We’re gunna to die! </p><p> </p><p>But, I was strangely calm, this close to death. After all, I was a well adjusted, and very enlightened teenager who wasn’t afraid of her own mortality. If I died, welp. Then so be it. It’s not liek I had anyone left to miss me on this miserable planet. </p><p> </p><p>You see, my parents had died when I was a little asswipe and I was an orphan. All my other similar genetic-material hosts were shitholes who like to kick puppies and little babies like footballs.</p><p> </p><p>Death would only bE A RELEASE FROM OUR PAINS IN THIS HELL-FORESAKEN WORLD, FOR IT IS ONLY WITHIN THE END OF THE MORTAL FLESH THAT THE MIND CAN TRULY BECOME ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE!!</p><p> </p><p>(I actualy <em> used </em> to be a Satanist but then i realised that religions were stupid and a waste of my time, so i dedicated myself to being a well educated rational being of NIHILISM. U gotta read nietzsche if u wanna talk to me on my level uwu)</p><p> </p><p>I closed my softly violet, slightly glistening spheres and was ready for the imminent end. For the end of my pathetic life, the waste of atomic space I was miserably occupying with a useless sack of squishy depressed flesh.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>AN: if ur wondering why i can think so many things while falling its bcuz i can think alot faster than normal ppl, my brain just works at a speed that makes even time flow slower. I don’t usually tell people cuz then it makes them feel bad standing to a genius like me, and dat would b mean so i pretend to be stupid smtimes, but anyways whatevs back 2 the storyyy it’s a cliffhanger sry hehe</b>
</p><p> </p><p>My deadly fall was suddlenly broken with a pair of deceptively small hands. They were a pianist’s hands, long and thin and smooth, except for the scars. (ngl i’d let those hands play ME like bruh, those FINGERS). I could feel taunt biceps beneath my back and on my thin, pale waist. My skin shivered and gained goosebumps from his soft touch as my head slammed back from inertia, hitting onto his rock-hard, steely thighs. </p><p> </p><p>"Amber Zinnia. I am so glad I got here in time"</p><p> </p><p>A deep and manly voice (just like david attenborugoh's), sharp and growly all at once tickled my ears and chest.</p><p> </p><p>Trembling, I lifted up slowly my hooded lids with my delicate glitter blu mascara and pitch black eyeliner twinlking under the bright sun. Who was my mysterious savior??</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p>Who do u think our secret man is?? let me know ur guess in da comments plz xD</p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>aannnnnddddd we’re BACK! Sry for leaving u guys in suspense like dat, i had school T-T</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like broooo who tf needs 2 know dis phisiks shit. Anyways to make up for that i added in something spicy for yall 👀👀👀💦💦 (also I used Grammarly for the fic soooo u can read without being distracted hehe)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I met a pair of stormy, ice-cold eyes. They had hidden depths, and lightened up like the sky clears after a storm. I coudl literally see the white cloudy cataracts coming in and brightening his thundering orbs. My willowy body was carefully covered by one muscled arm, while the other one held me up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“1!!!!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Blunty started shootin and spraying bullets at our asses, so the man started running with me in his arms. For some reason, his blonde head looked super super familiar, but I just wasn’t sure of where I saw him….</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wait….</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Could it be….!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Really………….!!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yassen gregorovich”, I gasped out. I suddenly recognized him. He smirked back down at my face when he heard me identity who he was. His tweezed brows were on fleek and quirked beckoning at me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was the super sexy assassin that blunt had tried to warn me away from. Hmph. (i betcha he just wanted dat ass fo himself, so i ain’t gonna listen 😜😜😜)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As I was kinda flopping, with his every step my silky black hair of dusk swung and my head swung near his most sacred parts, then his incrediblely deadly attractive man smell wafted up at me. I felt a little faint, my  heart was fluttering from sheer joy and I was almost going into ecstacies at it. I gazed appreciatviely at his powerful thighs and calves contracting with a pulsing throb, shiny and slick with sweat from his worry about my life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite my life being in such danger, I felt no fear and only excitement. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Behind me, Alex couldn’t run as fast after being dropped head first into the pavement and got shot 27 times in the back and ass while lying flat on the ground by stupid Blunt. He was bleeding and oozing his red boy juices all over the pavement, and it was super hot. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>No!!! BAD AMBER, U CANT THINK LIKE THIS</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(AN as a side effect of my brief satanism conversion, im sometimes possessed by demons + ze give me bloodlust)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I started crying fat, luminescent blobs of tears that welled up in my violet eyes. They seemed like bottomless indigo pools of sorrow that an unsuspecting passerby could just accidentally drown in after climbing over the “do not enter” fences. How tragic! Alex was dead! And his you-know-what was so good too, and now i’ll never be able to hav fun w it again :((((</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sobbing, I pounded at Yassen’s robust chest and built abs, covered in a silky hawaiian collared gucci shirt. “Let me go, I need to save Alex!” he kinda ignored me liek a dumbass and kept on running. “Let me go!” He flexed his pecs at me to say no. With an unknown power coming inside of me, I flung my arms up and judo flipiped the Russian onto the hard cold ground. No man, no matter how sexy he was, is gunna stop me from getting Alex’s body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At least, that’s what I thought i did. Instead, when I flipped Yassen up, he started convulsing and jerking in my arms. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>OMG WAS HE HAVING A ORGASM XD (ik my lifiting skillz r hot but damn, rly?)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I closed my eyes as I continued to lift his body in the air. It was actually kinda hard cuz he was moving around and air thrusting his pelvis so much so his body was shaking a lot. I was also disappointed, my perfect pink lips slightly frowning, since apparently he was more attracted to the air than me and decided to hump that instead. dis man was a bit toooo kinky even 4 me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes slowly opened again when I felt him stop moving and warm liquid was running down my arms. Was he finished?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A horrific instead of smolderin hot scene met my gaze. “This can’t be….” Yassen’s man juice was running down my arms, yes, but it was red. And he had a lot more holes in him then he shouldve had. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My knees were shaking and they gave out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” I started weeping in despair. This was an utter tragedy. I flung my still naked and supple body over his bullet-hole ridden corpse, smearing the shiny blood all over my pale skin. As I sobbed my heart out, even my waterproof mascara started to smeear and run, making me look ghoulish. Streaks of black eyeliner ran down my flushed face as I mourned. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Above me the fucking monster known as The Blunt Cokslayer cheered at his KO’s with a disgusting glee. In that moment, i swore to myself that I would get revenge upon his pasty ass 4 killing my babies. like fr imma beat him up then stop his head into MUSH </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grabbing a handful of blood from Yassen’s formerly not holey chest, I wiped it on my gaunt face like warpaint and licked a little bit off, then savagely chanted, “On his life and sacrifice, with this blood I swear upon my ancestors that revenge will be sought and achieved against all odd and with all costs”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then i stood up straight, puffed out my well endowed chest in fury, and pointed back up at Blunt with my middle fingers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello. My name is Rhiannon Amber-Zinnia Vernnalce. You killed my men. Prepare to die.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <span>Yes. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>war</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Extra spicy special</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>EXTRA Y/N SPECIAL:</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p>im so srry!! to make up for the angst last chapter this is a double update, so u can ahve some happy things to read too</p><p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello, y/n." You shivered as Yassen's soft breath brushed over your exposed neck. "I've been looking for you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you here?" You could barely force the words out of your paling lips, a shaking whisper of fear and something more. "I thought you said that we would never meet again." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned your head around and you met his gaze. Flinty grey-blue eyes met you back, an iced blizzard frozen for eternity. A frozen moment of violence forever preserved, framed by elegantly sloping brows. Yassen hmm'd, and you could feel the vibrations of his hard chest, so closely pressed together the two of you were, in a hotel closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, plans change, y/n."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could feel your entire body just prickle and perk with a flush at his careless attention, and goosebumps rose as he grabbed your shoulders with a gentle but solid grip, thin and skilled fingers caressing the edges of your collarbones. You bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from revealing any sort of reaction, as you didn’t want to be caught - for one, you weren’t supposed to be here spying on the events. Carefully, you don’t think about the second reason, that Yassen, his body pressed flush against your back so, would be immensely obvious in his-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You end the thought before it goes any further. The both of you had agreed that your only meeting would be the last one, as dangerous as his world was to you. You didn’t want anything to do with it at all, and it was only pure chance that found you in the previous situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yassen,” you murmur. He takes this as encouragement, and brings his arms around to your front as he pressed an open mouthed kiss behind your ear, tingly and almost teethy as he sucks. It’s obscenely loud, this close to your ear and breaking in the dampened silence that was previously held, and a rush of blood thumps your pulse in equally loud thunder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” You aren’t sure if you’re telling him to stop or to go on.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>A/N: heeheehee ill add more if u guys want it. but only if u guys say yes to more xDD (ps u know u are who i wrote this for u &lt;3)</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a/n: sry that its been awhile since my last update buuuut…...SUPER BIG plot twist this chapter hehehee (but u can check da tags if u rly want to know 1st xD) im hope it makes up for it takin sooo loooonngggg</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>~XxxxRiderxxx777xxxRiderxxxX~</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was so so so mad, u have no idea. I was like, literally gonna tear blunty’s head off w my bear hands, even if it chipped my gorgeously oval and all natural nails (what, did you rly think id wear NAIL POLISH?? no way, that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>mainstream, </span>
  </em>
  <span>i use all natural 100% cold pressed extra virgin olive oil to moisturize my cuticles) and stained me w his sticky body juice. In fact, I was mad enough to even drink it right from his red, gushing, flabby neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With my seductively flexing biceps, i picked up Yassen and Alex with one hand and put them over my shoulder in a stacked carry, Alex on top of Yassen coz he’s a shorter boy. It was kinda like tetris, but with ppl. With a roar, I ran at the wall and started sneakily climbing back up with my other arm and two legs while Blunt kept on laughing like smol pp man </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>see, I was gonna ambush that stupid MURDERER who killedl my friends, but I couldnt just leave dem behind, u know??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was still shining happily, and my midnight hair glinted in the light as the wind blew it flowingly from side to side while I was climbing up. It looked like a dark flowing river of hidden secrets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>but *LE GASP*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My bois suddenly started turning gray! And mushy! And they started oozing down all over my toned and supple body, Alex’s eyeballs dripping down between my boobs on last time. Yassen’s melted corpse also started slipping down my arm and caressed in a slippery way my body cracks as he went down my body like floral lavender shea butter pomegranate Special Edition: Luna Glo</span>
  <span>TM</span>
  <span> bodywash in a hot shower.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“AHHHHHH!!!!!” I screamed in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>what. Da. fuKKK is this!!! Even I was a little shocked, despite the calm and rational person I am. I even almost fell down again, but out of nowhere a manly hand grasped my wrist and pulled me up into the window. There were calluses that chaffed against my smooth and soft skin (u guyz, moisturizing is soo important and no joke, okay) but my genius mind immediately deducted that he was a soldier and a chef and a cellist and a epic gaymer from the position of these calluses. The glowing tanned skin said “surfer beach boi” 2, so he was almost exactly like Alex in looks </span>
  <b>👀👀</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Who was this guy, and how was he so perfect??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vernnalce! Quick, spray her with the decontaminant!” The mystery saviour drawled in a worried but deep voice that made me tingle in </span>
  <span>✨</span>
  <span>special</span>
  <span>✨</span>
  <span> ways. My eyes were closed as I didn’t want to get corpse juice in my eyes as I was pulled up, since Yassen at that point melted completely onto my head and RUINED my raven tresses, making it all sticky and together instead of like silky feathers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He proceeded to spray and rub me all over (and i mean, ALL over ;)))) w his slightly rough but gentle hands to cover me in this deconatminant. Where ever it touched, the corpse-goo melted off with a sizzle. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was super confused, but my sense of smell and hearing were still 100% and i culd tell that my greatest enemy was still in this room, the very room where he killed Alex and yassen w a shower of machine gun fire. Like, I knew fo shure it was him cuz my hearing was sharp enough to pinpoint his heartbeat (My hearing is v v good u know, i even have perfect pitch uwu) and i could smell his excited sweat and gunpowder from shooting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>RAWWRRRR!!! The instant those big hands lifted off my shoulders and thighs I catapulted myself at Alan Blunt and started pummeling his nasty stupid face into mashed potatoes. Except. Except, I got stopped by that same pair of hands who tightly gripped me and stopped me from flying at my revenge.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hmph! I opened my eyes and prepared to give this man a total fatal scolding, but what I saw made me so shook I couldn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span> 🥵🥵🥵</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Strikingly emerald green eyes gazed intensely back at me, probing my soul with vegan veg fury. They smoldered with a burn of Australia’s ten-thousand fires, like green embers of passionately radiant life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Because we were obviously soulmates, I instantly knew his name was Odair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Odair, </span>
  </em>
  <span>because no other human coud peer into my very inner self just like tht w a</span>
  <em>
    <span> look</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Also, his eyes were so green (example pic right here: </span>
  <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/240520436321932079/">
    <span>https://www.pinterest.com/pin/240520436321932079/</span>
  </a>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>OH. MY. GOD. Hoooly crapanoodles! </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At this point i kinda forgot about killing Blunt cuz u know, I can always do dat later bc he can only die once. Before I could say anything though, Odair opened his mouth and sighed in a rumbling command voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Vernnalce. You do not want to kill him, because he is not who you think he is.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>wtf? I know this guys a genius but what he goin on about?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Odair laid his large hands on my shoulder and slowly turned me towards Blunt, his silvery-blonde fringe brushing my forehead as he bent over my face and said “I know ur a smart girl. Take another look.” His forest viridescent gemstones glittered like a radioactive pool of death, whispering a secret. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I decided to listen, and nodded. Odair smirked sexily and chuckled. hmph! The sheer audacity of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this man</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I look and then show him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I carefully stepped around and closer to the perv who was watching us quietly this entire time. sumtin wrong with Blunt? I narrowed my violet eyes that darkened to look like crying obsidian in minecraft with anger and concentration. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Waaaait a  minute. When did Alan blunt have gleaming blue orbs like these in his face? i was so sure he was boring grey eyes of doom. As I stared into the man’s face, my heart suddenly started pounding in memory.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No……” I gasped under my breath. “No way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>(AN: ehehehe u guyz will b so surprised. im not leaving it as a cliffhanger here so feel v v lucky xD)</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But what my mind was denying my body still remembered. These were the exact same pair of gorgeous beach sea eyes that I had lovingly gazed into while having sinning w Alex who was dead. Even though they were now like a navy blue with dark hints of wisdom and danger, showing age, I could still instantly remember alex;s looks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>like, the Alex I knew had clear eyes and the fake-Blunt had eyes exactly the same, except that they were now infested with sharks and pplastic pollution goop so they weren’t as blue. Or clean.  Against my will, my brain started analyzing what had happened super fast. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>OMG, poor Alex! He was so burdened by the horrible moral choices he made and the dark terrors he had seen in his past. someone important had died from the way his eyebrows were absollutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful </span>
  </em>
  <span>and bushy like….I cant even say this aloud, its that bad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I started crying at the fact that he got old like this and i wasn’t there to help him. It was obvious that this was Alex that time traveled back to save someone special to his heart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alan Blunt was Alex Rider from the future.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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